Vincent Démitri

This kind of shit happens about three times a week to me.

2009-09-18T23:11:51Z

I got into a verbal altercation with a few Mac users. They outnumbered me three to one. I won this fight. I was using my Acer 8.9" Aspire One, and one Mac user commented on how laughably small it was. I replied politely, "I do not need an obnoxiously-large screen for functionality." I believe the conversation got started because someone asked me what I was going to do this weekend, and I satirically replied, "I will be staying in this weekend instead of socializing, so I can work on spreadsheets on my PC." Then the first Mac user turned around in her seat to notice my computer. I said this because douchey Mac users love to tell one another what they will be doing loud enough for others to hear, and on what type of computer they will be doing it on. Example:

"Hey, Chad, what are you up to this weekend, dude?" (because Mac speak without intelligence)
"Oh, you know, bro, writing a screenplay on my Mac at Starbucks."
"That's cool, man, I plan on downloading more shitty music on iTunes at $0.99 per song, also at Starbucks. Maybe I will see you there after the 3Oh!3 concert." (editor's note: Mac users do not actually have the sophistication or self-confidence to make fun of themselves, or their taste in anything. What they like is the best, regardless of anything ever)

Anyway, in my film class, the Mac that was showing us a video through the projector kept going into sleep mode, and the hand-out had some easily-fixed formatting issues. I had three, count them, three different points where I pointed out to the Mac user next to me (who I do get along with) that she "should have used a PC." For those who have been brainwashed to forget, "Should've used a Mac" was little campaign by Apple to illustrate how shitty they thought Windows was, what with them being so biased against it that they never chose to actually use one and see what it was like. There were stupid commercials that were grossly exaggerated, to the point of where a Mac user would be a typical fucking male hipster in Venetian-blind sunglasses, a black, purple, and lime-green hat, have long hair, sagging in his jeans, and wearing a hoodie with some sort of combination of yellows and greens (mostly teal), and a PC user would be in clothes that ADULTS wear (i.e. slacks, no fucking Nikes, and zomg a tie) with responsibly-cut hair for his real fucking job. The PC user would try to use Internet Explorer, a gross falsity because everyone who uses PCs uses Firefox, and their computer would do something impossible like explode, or shoot them in the face. The college soon-to-be-dropout would reply with, "Duuuude, should've used a Mac!" And there were like fifty of these fucking ads, in print, and on television. Knowing that the dress style difference alone was enough to persuade very-impressionable teenagers and twentysomethings, this helped people forget that Apple ever made shit computers like the Apple III, or their current products. Fuck it, who needs usefulness in a computer? It is a Mac, and it says something about me! It will get me friends, like pretending that I like The Beatles or Bob Marley! Individuality and self-awareness are overrated, anyway!

My apologies, I digress.

Me: "Should have used a PC," said coyly to the classmate who jokes around casually about this with me.
Mac girl: "PC, psh. Look at your tiny computer!"
Me: "Yes, I prefer functionality and utility; I do not need an obnoxiously-large for functionality."
Mac guy 2: "That's why I use a Mac!" Mac girl high-fives Mac guy 2. This is not hyperbole, they are just that fucking cliché.
Me: Rolls eyes, is not a mouth-breather.

Later on, me addressing casually the gross format issues in our handout.

Me, to Mac guy 1 (the likable one): "You know, if she had done this on PC, there would not be any of these layout issues."
Mac guy 1: "Did she use a Mac? Heh, oh, I guess she did." He looks at the teacher's assistant's computer.
Me: "Actually, these are just easy fixes, you know, a backspace here, control-z there."
Mac girl, turning around in her seat to mock me: "Yeah, it is SO simple to fix this." Rolls eyes, turns back around. Fact--it is.
Mac guy 2: "Why do you prefer a PC, anyway? What the hell, dude, I mean, like, come on!"
Me: "Well, because I have free thought, I do not smoke pot, I do not have shitty taste in music that I feel the need to expose other people to incessantly and I do not have juvenile taste in comedy, I do not let mom and day pay any of my bills, and I do not have a liberal or democratic political view. I am not saying that if you own a Mac that you are all of these things, but if you own a Mac you are at least one of these things, and quite possibly all of these things."

Mac girl turns in her chair, glares at me for a moment, scoffs, then turns back around. Mac guy 2 looks sullen, and goes back to his work. Mac guy 1 chuckles, because that is the kind of relationship that we have. Monocles would have fallen out of eyes if it were not the fact that Mac users do not know what monocles are, and according to their stereotype-painting of PC users, only PC users wear them anyway. No, ALL PC users have monocles, and mustaches that were popular in 19th century England, which is comedic to me because fucking male hipsters who use Macs now wear that style of facial hair ironically.

Closer to the day...

2009-09-14T18:02:19Z

Earlier this year, a great job was mentioned to me as a possibility. Great for right now, great for in the future, as well.

Pros:
-Work Monday through Thursday at a great GS position
-Seriously, great money
-Promoted to fill the slot
-Retire with TWO retirements

Cons:
-Stop going to college full-time immediately, in the middle of the semester
-Long drives to Centennial CO (where the job would be) until my lease expires, after which I would have to move to either Centennial or Denver Tech Center to be closer to work; I only recently became settled and content in Boulder
-Would not be able to move back to South Korea or anywhere else while holding this position

Both good and bad:
-Not able to become an Army officer while holding this position, but may be able to become a Warrant Officer in an unrelated field since I would end up being enlisted and at the rank of E5 or above
-After moving, I WOULD get to live in Centennial or Denver Tech Center, both of which are very nice places to live

...

...

...

Sigh. I already know what I want to do, but there will be ambivalence, regardless.

I am eligible for the position, but I may not receive it after all. So, at the moment, I will keep up with my studies.

Onward!

2009-09-04T20:10:28Z

Life started over officially today. I am not sure why today of all days, but I can certainly feel it.

It feels great. I feel as though I have went from stoic to subdued, which is a huge leap forward for me. Subdued is far more alive than what I used to feel, which was nothing at all. I am smiling a lot today...and I want to smile forever.

This thing called college, and all of the changes.

2009-08-28T20:40:28Z

I went to college when I got out of high school. I was not ready for it, let us just say.

I took a few years to myself to be unproductive at best, and after all of my decisions, all of my traveling, all of my going-ons, I am back in college...and I absolutely love it. I should have just joined the Army five years ago.

I am more shut-in now than ever, buried in my books, and buried within myself...and I absolutely love this, as well. This semester's courses are:

-French
-Film
-Art
-AROTC

I never knew just how much that I would like school, either. Apparently, quite a bit. Homework is a hobby, and the meeting of new people that goes along with going to a new school is proving to be rather beneficial and interesting, also.

Outside of school, I am working a lot. My weekends are preoccupied by it, and my shorter school days are followed by work...and this is another part of right now that I absolutely love. Even with all of the school and work, though--full-time and full-time, respectively--I am still asleep by midnight, typically earlier, and up by 0800, typically earlier. I am not sleep-deprived, and I am very occupied with my school and my work, but not overwhelmed. The Army helped me manage life better. Doing LESS than this so many years ago was so taxing, and now...it is rather easy! I have a systematic approach to everything school- and work-related that I did not have before the Army, and it helps me excel effortlessly.

...

...

...

There is more, though.

I no longer want to teach college-level art. Or any class.

And, I absolutely love it.

My future is right now.

Restart, finally.

2009-08-20T04:23:02Z

School begins again Monday. I am strongly considering a dual-Masters plan in Fine Arts and Film, which defies my selected school's dual-Masters fundamentals. Apparently the University Of Colorado at Boulder only officially does MBA/[field] dual-Masters, but since most of the classes in one field (Fine Arts) apply to the other (Film), I can in theory use a loophole and obtain two Masters degrees at the same time when I am scheduled to graduate May 2013. I wanted my Doctorate in Fine Arts, but perhaps I can do both...once I would get a PhD in Fine Arts, I would still have 11 years left of my Army career, so what is to stop me from holding a second PhD in Film?

Regardless of the far-off future, I am quite excited about the moment at hand. Of course, I am not one to show it.

Gallery overhaul.

2009-08-14T03:29:41Z

My static portfolio has been overhauled in entirely. Do investigate.

http://mixedinternal.deviantart.com

"It was raining that day, as well."

2009-08-02T21:28:15Z

I will go...I will find what I lost, and get it back.

Even now, so many years later...

2009-07-27T04:20:33Z

...my heart still lurches at the sight of a yellow trench coat.

History...

2009-06-25T05:34:02Z

I am in love, with:

http://nyu-anime.blogspot.com/search/label/Japanese%20Music

My childhood and teenage years converge, and fill the eight-year gap that America created.

Also, I will be returning home to Seoul in August, but only for a few weeks. My heart yearns for a past I barely remember, but recall with such intensity.

Cognizant of sensation.

2009-05-25T06:56:45Z

I burned my hand on exceptionally-hot water today. Most people have done this, or burned somewhere else with something equally or even more hot. While this has happened in the past, I recall from past experiences not recalling much except the pain delivered in a flash, then lingering pain for a bit afterward. This time, despite me being quite preoccupied with many things going on around me, my world seemed to focus specifically on what was happening to my hand, even though it was for a brief half-second at most.

I felt each uncontrollable twitch as my hand moved miles in moments, and I felt the firing of every nerve ending in the area to register that something beyond my control was happening to an extremity. Then, of course, it was over, but the fact that I was aware of not just the pain, but the feeling itself and everything related, seemed important enough to me to document.

Negligent (excuses).

2009-04-30T04:52:08Z

I have been exceptionally negligent of my arts for a bit. As most may or may not know, I joined the United States Army in May of 2008 and did not settle somewhere new where I could work freely until 03.2009, but my lull really started toward the end of 2007. Here is the thing, though: it is not that I have not been trying.

Most of my photographs get discarded immediately nowadays, and my short films have all felt like amateur efforts to me, so I have been scrapping those, as well. I suppose I am just not inspired anymore.

I have made several paintings since late 2007, but they have all met the same fate as my camera-work. I have been completely dissatisfied with my product, and I would much sooner destroy what could have been than let the world see something with my name on it that I feel is garbage.

I have not been writing much, either--same situation, really, because I actually have, but I have been deleting my saved works before publishing something I may regret later due to the lack of quality. That leaves one medium left I have yet to mention: music.

I actually have been working quite a bit with that, with others (for the first time), but not recording, just creating art in the aural sense. Boulder CO is a good place to meet up with people and play to expand your style and methodology, or at least I have to be able to adapt and try new things because very few people are interested in something Avant Garde that defies music theory and will most likely further alienate myself as an artist when introduced to the average partaker.

Robert Smith was 30 when The Cure released Disintegration. Kevin Shields was 28 when My Bloody Valentine released Loveless. Billy Corgan was 31 when The Smashing Pumpkins released Adore. I am 23. I have a few years to go until my artistic peak is to be reached, by this comparison.

I never felt my youth was worth much anyway, and that my life truly would begin the closer to 30 that I came. See you all in seven years.

Continue.

2009-04-02T13:54:34Z

I do not see myself updating very often in the future anymore. I suppose there really is little need since I have been spending more time living life than documenting it--but to update the unknowing, I moved to Boulder CO, and rediscovered existence.

My latest home.

2009-03-04T00:30:33Z

Boulder CO is more than I could have asked for.

This place is perfect.

"Tonight I'm gonna rest my chemistry."

2009-02-23T01:47:39Z

My decision to not live in MA and instead head west was confirmed as a good decision from this weekend. There are so strong fundamental issues that keep me from being able to enjoy the city of Boston, namely because of the people whom live in it. That "Boston attitude" is disgustingly unflattering, and their manner of speech is just as revolting to me.

Few things really put me off anymore, but after being exposed to it nonstop the entire weekend, I am positive that I do not want to live in such an offensive, unaccepting city. Every other sentence was "faggot this," or "fuckin' queers," and to that extent, every third word was "fuckin'." Everything was "fuckin' homo," or "wicked gay," and so forth, with no shortage of females chewing tobacco and lifestyles centering around Red Sox and Celtics, which they pronounce "sell-tiks."

...

[sigh of relief]

I feel that I really dodged a bullet, perhaps quite literally, by opting to move to somewhere new instead of settle for Boston. It is a series of slums mislabeled as a prosperous college city full of promise and opportunity, but I hope I never have to go there again beyond one last business trip this week. Boston can hate the rest of the world in its microcosm without me.

"We treat mishaps like sinking ships, and..."

2009-02-06T20:37:16Z

I know that I don't want to be out to drift.

"I know a place where we can go where we are not known."

2009-01-30T17:44:13Z

I am heading west, far west, but I will stop before I hit the ocean.

"Honey-colored sand is not as sweet without you here, beside me in this heat."

2009-01-27T17:47:09Z

I have said goodbye before I have even left.

...

...

...

I have not walked in a few inches of snow since I lived in Vermont almost a year ago...and when I think about it, I think...incredible, it really has been that long.

I have missed the feeling of snow beneath my feet. Maryland has had a relatively snowless last/current winter from what I have been told, but today's weather reminds me of my future in Montréal that I have yet to live.

...

...

...

I want to live in the dream of Flower.

"I'm sick of this town, and I've seen my faces change."

2009-01-13T18:05:49Z

I need..

...something to say, something to do, but there's nothing to say when there's nothing to do.

"Just spare me the suspense."

2009-01-12T13:07:31Z

I live a life of intrigue.

Not much new, in other words, because there is always something new. Perhaps too much new, which is also nothing new.

No news would be good news.

2009-01-07T11:32:51Z

I have always had a strong distaste for CNN due to their flagrant lack of professionalism and obvious fillers when news days are slow. Where I have been since Sept. 01 and will be until Feb. 19 CNN is played all day at the place I eat, so I am bombarded with this disgusting attempt at news frequently.

It is either this or Fox News, I suppose...why does this country not just watch the BBC?

"Miss me, don't dismiss me."

2009-01-06T20:25:15Z

It takes a teenage riot to get me out of bed right now.

Old San Antón.

2009-01-05T19:13:53Z

I went to San Antonio TX for a couple of weeks during the Christmas area. I wish it had gone better than it did; I went with much higher hopes than I had ever had for anything Texas-related, but the situation started off on a very bad foot and remained droll in general because of the bad start.

[sigh]

Maybe next time it will be better? I did not think I would say there would BE a next time with Texas, but to be honest the little qualities along with the unexpected longing I developed over the summer for the clean, southern air makes me want another go-around...secretly, of course. Shhh.

Besides, I like optimism better than the opposite, anyway. Forgive until it hurts, I suppose, but it often hurts to get you to the point where you would forgive in the first place. An interesting cycle.

Degeneration.

2008-12-28T09:22:54Z

Resident Evil: Degeneration is a disgrace to the canon and name of Resident Evil. There are a million issues as to why it infuriates me, but oddly enough the biggest grip is NOT Resident Evil-related: The US Army is in Degeneration (you can tell from the ACUs), but they are referred to on a couple of occasions as the Marines. There is a big fucking difference between Hooah and Hoorah, and definitely a difference between the aforementioned ACUs and the much-sexier MCCUUs that the Marines actually wear. None of the soldiers, err, "Marines," even have any unit or battle patches on their Velcro...ghh, I hate how civilians think they know the US military enough to try to include them in media and pop culture without doing any fucking research. This whole post could have been completely avoided by Capcom simply asking a servicemember; there are I believe about 1.5 million.

On the military tie-in, I really like the new NWUs that the Navy is getting. It is almost hardcore enough to make me want to be a sailor, and black leather boots instead of suede! I have heard you can only wear the uniform at sea, though, and I have a VERY strong distaste for deep water.

Holiday 2008.

2008-12-20T04:20:12Z

Normally the holidays have seemed to be...not for me, let us just say. Based upon past holiday seasons, I tend to withdraw, become quite pensive, perhaps a bit melancholy, even, but it dawned upon me due to a conversation with someone else that the holidays return me to my ideal life, the life I am always making an effort to relive: of nocturnal.

Due to my current living sitution I have been getting up around 6A daily, sometimes as early as 3.30A, and going to sleep around or before 6P. Obviously, a nocturnal life is out of the question at this moment. Even worse, when I leave here in February for Boston I will be going to two colleges and working a small bit at a coffee shop to supply the caffeine in between the two schools, so chances are being nocturnal will not fall into the lifestyle choices of priority there. However, this holiday season I will be flying to Texas at an hour that was once "late" for me, and I see that the entire duration I am there I will be able to live nocturnal once more, at least for a short while...then back here, another month of early mornings and early evenings, and onwards to the rest of my life. And what a life I have crafted for myself! Oh my.

Tonight is my second evening awake throughout all. The previous one was rough, a continuation from a very long day with no sleep whatsoever into the morning after the day of the previous morning. There is something quite reassuring of the lonliness in deep night by choice, in sharp contrast to the unwanted lonliness of the bright and generic day. The evening alone leads to adventures in self-discovery, and the invaluable connections with other people who purposefully lose themself in the night that may occur. Texas seems "doable" this time around.

I would like to go on in great extent about my feelings of the night, but "night two" is still a transitional one into full mental capacity. Perhaps some other time.

Hearth.

2008-12-07T22:24:32Z

I have never been one to celebrate the holidays, as everyone who knows me knows, but there is something infinitely reassuring and fulfilling about eating "Thanksgiving food" on a cold day.

...

Unrelated, I have been much more successful in separating myself from negativity. Negativity, (again) as everyone who knows me knows, seems to gravitate towards me, be it events or other people, and it also seems to radiate from me. Or rather, it DID. There is some adage about misery loving company, but I feel relatively content to just sit and eat my "Thanksgiving food" by myself. In general, though, I do not end up bothered by much anymore.

This is a success.